She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
