Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize