ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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