I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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