he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
