I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Hippo gnu deer
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
