I'm going to jail i love you
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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