We won't sleep together?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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