he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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