Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
