Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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