Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
