A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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