i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize