Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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