covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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