A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
