call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
