The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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