I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Let's get the cat blown out
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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