What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
