i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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