A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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