THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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