Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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