I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just pee around me
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
