First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
