At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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