Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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