You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize