She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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