Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
