maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize