I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
