I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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