he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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