I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
