i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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