Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
