would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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