I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
