Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
