youre lurking in front of me
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
my shit smells like andre
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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