I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
