i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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