i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
FUCK WHALES
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
