Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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