Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
