You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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