24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Pooping to opera.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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