I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
