Having a random hookup so left but love u
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
