That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
