garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
