Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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