it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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