is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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