Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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