Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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