I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
