The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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