I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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