Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
time to smoke my breakfast
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
