all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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