i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
