I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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