lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
That was before I lit my hair on fire
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
