he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
