Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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