There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
