found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
