I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
