i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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